Dating Your Best Friend

Is it a good idea?

I always thought that if you started off as friends instead of just jumping into the dating territory, the relationship would be better. So when there’s a mutual attraction, should you act on it?

I don’t have an answer. It’s a question I constantly find myself going back and forth to. It is a good idea, it isn’t a good idea. I just don’t know.

My best friend and I have had a mutual attraction that we’ve openly discussed since we became friends back in 2011. Our friendship is very open in general, which I love. You should be able to talk about anything with your boyfriend, right? I still don’t know if dating your best friend is a good idea. Sure, you can talk about anything but isn’t it because they’re your best friend? You often tell your best friend things you wouldn’t want to tell your significant other. That’s what distinguishes them, isn’t it?

Not to mention it could so easily ruin your friendship. Even if you both know agree you could continue to be friends if things don’t work out. In most cases, I wouldn’t think that was true. But I do think my best friend and I could still be friends if things didn’t work out. What scares me is that it would definitely change our friendship. I don’t know if it would change for the better or the worse.

My theory is that because we’ve been friends so for long, we’ve grown to know each other pretty well. That adds to the initial attraction and makes me question whether or not I have romantic feelings for him. Sure, he’s the first person I’d tell most things but it’s not a huge deal to me if we’re not hanging out all the time or if we haven’t all that much in the week. I think we have the attraction down but not the chemistry. I also don’t think I could fully invest myself in a relationship with him. That wouldn’t be fair. He constantly reminds me that we never really gave it shot and that he’d be happy to. Sometimes it feels like I should just give it a chance. What could it hurt? If we don’t get in too deep, we can both decide to end it and at least say we have it a fair chance. There’s plenty of what ifs though.

I think we could date and it’d be fine but it’s all be temporary. But it would be because I couldn’t really fall in love with him so I’d never get hurt. Which is a good thing but it seems like a settling thing.

The whole point of a relationship is an end goal, right? To see if you could spend the rest of your life happily beside the person you’re with? Of course it’s something that develops over time unless it’s that love at first sight kind of thing. (Stay tuned, I’ll have a post about that too!)

I can see him in the rest of my life but I can’t see him at the end of the altar. I want to keep him by my side in a different way. So would dating him change that? I’m not sure. It’s a risk I’m not willing to take.

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