Taking a Chance

So recently I took a chance on a guy despite telling myself that I was just going to focus on myself and my education. Dating felt like such a waste of time because the guys I talked to or met seemed to only really care about sex or wanted to play games.

I was really tired of it. The guys I’ve dated have been disappointing and didn’t seem to have the vaguest idea of what they wanted to do with their life. Sure, I’m only twenty but I do have some kind of idea of where I would like to be, some goals I’d like to reach. These guys were fine with working at their jobs, going home to play video games, and living with their parents forever. If that’s what makes you happy, great. But I’d like a guy with ambition.

There’s something seriously attractive about a guy that knows what he wants and does everything he can to achieve that. Even if the guy doesn’t know what he wants, at least he’s working on himself you know? The guys I dated basically thought they were God’s gifts to women and that they were perfect the way they are. The arrogance was annoying. Especially when they were such assholes. Like no, of course my needs don’t matter, please tell me more about you and how great you are. They were the kind of guys that wanted someone to be there for them and assure them of their greatness. I am absolutely not that type of person. I’m going to tell you how it is. I’m opinionated and they couldn’t handle that so they made me feel inadequate. I’m glad those “relationships” ended before they really began. I don’t need anyone to tell me I’m lacking in some way.

I felt so stupid after each of those short term whatever they were. I wanted things to work out because I didn’t want to be single anymore. It didn’t take me long to realize that I enjoy being single and how stress-free it is. I told myself that I wasn’t going to date anymore. Not until I met someone that actually wanted a partner, not a posse. I didn’t have much hope.

Then comes this guy. Cliché right? I met him online and didn’t have high hopes because of the guys before. But this guy… We basically texted for a bit one day then nothing for a month. I hadn’t even thought of him because, well, the short conversation wasn’t anything but a casual, how’s your day going type of thing. It wasn’t until I was sitting in a meeting, bored and was deleting some old messages that I came across a number I didn’t recognize. I was about to open it and see who it was when he texted me. It was such a coincidence. We laughed about it and from that day on, we texted everyday. Before I knew it, a month went by and he asked me out. I thought it was way too soon. I didn’t realize how long we had been talking. Not that a month is all that long. In that moment is did though.

If I’m being honest, I typically stop talking to guys pretty quickly but I get bored of them. With this guy, I looked forward to talking to him. The conversations were interesting and I genuinely enjoyed texting him. So when he asked me out the first time, I was anxious because it was too soon. A few days later, I realized that we have been talking for awhile and I’m an idiot. I was seriously hoping he’d ask me out again.

Eventually he did and we went out. First dates are nerve wracking, I was also going to be meeting him for the first time in person. Safe to say I was a bundle of nerves. I got there first and was distracting myself by talking to my girls. When he finally got there, he had to change his flat. I was debating whether or not I should “help.” I’m useless when it comes to changing tires, I know, I suck. Anyways, my first thought was to at least keep him company. I asked my best friend and he said that if it were him, he’d want me to stay in my car because it was cold and raining out. I ignored him of course and went to keep the guy company.

It sucked that his car got a flat but I think it worked out well. He was okay, which was most concerning to me. After reassuring me that he was, we got to talking. We didn’t immediately have the pressures of a first date. In a way, we got to hang out a bit and it was really nice. I didn’t really care that it was cold and raining, I knew instantly that I made the right choice of standing out there with him. For me, the cold and rain is kind of important. You see, I have a terrible immune system. I get sick at the drop of a hat and I stay sick for a long time, it can get pretty bad (it has to do with being bedridden for three months because of my injury, in case you were curious).

Eventually he got the stuck screw loose and finished changing his tire. We went inside and had a nice dinner. I did end up getting sick (no surprise). It sucked because when I’m sick, my body is a lot weaker, I’m already kind of weak, and I kind of need strength to control my knee functions. I actively have to focus on walking or I’ll fall and seriously mess up my knee, which has gone through more enough. It doesn’t seem like such a big deal, but if you knew me personally you’d know it was a huge deal. So, I hobbled around for a few days and thankfully with the help of some DayQuil, I was better.

The date was absolutely worth it. We had a second date a few nights ago and I’m stilling grinning about it. Needless to say, I like the guy. I’m doing my best not to overthink everything and kind of just go with the flow. I do have to admit that I’m scared of things ending before they begin just like the past experiences. But I’m going to do what I always do. Hope like hell things work out but I won’t hold any expectations. Going with the flow is lot easier said than done though.

The moral of this little spiel is that I took a chance on this guy and so far, I’m pretty damn glad I did. I didn’t think I could after everything I’ve been through with the opposite sex but here I am. Taking a chance on him and hoping things turn out okay.

Wish me luck!

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