Staying Strong

There’s a lot I want to write about staying strong but this is specifically dedicated to some of the strongest people I know.

First, let me begin with my favorite not so little human. It’s been a year since my uncle passed away and it’s been one helluva year. There were so many things happening in your life and you had to deal with it without him. Those emotions and thoughts? I’d give anything for you to never have felt or thought. I know you’re not a little girl anymore. But let’s not forget that I’ve held you as a baby, I’ve changed your diapers, held you when you cried, and watched you grow. So while you’re not technically little anymore, you’ll forever be my baby girl and I will never stop trying to protect you. Even if that means babying you from time to time.

You should have been able to enjoy high school without a care in the world. I know that’s not realistic but I never want you to hurt. I hated seeing you go through everything you did and everything you continue enduring. I wish everyday that I could take that pain from you. You’re far too young to worry about the rest of your life without someone you needed behind you. I know you’re struggling. Sometimes I look over and that glimmer in your eyes is missing. You put on a false smile to show everyone you’re okay when you’re not. It’ll never get easier. And you’ll never stop hurting but you will learn to live with it. Eventually, you’ll learn to just focus on the memories and live the best you can.

That’s what he would have wanted. He wouldn’t have wanted you to sit at home crying when you could be out, enjoying your life to the fullest. Don’t let the grief consume you. He’s always with you, cheering you on even if you can’t hear him. I pray that you never forget that. Never let the anger dictate your life. He was taken from you way too soon because life isn’t fair. It’s cruel. I always hoped the reality of life wouldn’t hurt you and instead it crushed you completely. You’ve been so strong. You’re holding your head high and you’re doing your very best to live without him. You hurt so much but that has yet to stop you from living every day to the fullest. I hope you never stop taking risk, never stop yourself from loving, never let yourself go down a dark path.

There’s so much in the world that I hope for you but the most important is that I hope you find happiness. Find happiness wherever you can (as long as it won’t harm you) and hold on to it. Don’t be afraid of life. It’s only going to get more difficult and you’re only going to get stronger.

To the second, you’re pretty freaking amazing. You’ve been through a rough few months and I’m so proud of you. I know balancing the semester and going back and forth to go home was rough. I’m sure there are many nights where you were up worrying about everything. I think there were many times you held back what you were feeling. I wanted so badly to ask and push you to talk about everything but if you wanted to talk about it with me, you would’ve. I wish there was more I could have done and I wish you had opened up more about it. You went through a hurricane of emotions and somehow made it through fairly okay (that I could see anyways). I hated seeing you so run down from exhaustion. But you were so strong through it all. Not only for you, but for her.

I don’t know how you did it. Sometimes in life it feels like we don’t have a choice but that’s not true. There is always a choice you can make. You chose the one that caused you pain and made you feel helpless because there was nothing you could do but be there. And you chose to stay by her side through the entirety of it. That takes an incredible amount of strength whether you realize that or not. I’m so happy that you both got through it and I hope you never have to face anything like that again.

You have showed me that strength comes in many forms. I’m amazed by your courage every day and admire you so much. I hope you both continue to stay strong without everything that comes your way and that you remember that I will always be happy to be by your side if you need someone to lean on. You’re pretty great human beings and I pray you never let the harsh realities of life bring you down.

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