Why are they so complicated?

As a female with a male best friend, I feel like I get a lot of insight into a guy’s mind. However, not all guys are the same. I know, shocker. There are actually guys in the world that are keepers.

Take my best friend for instance. He’s currently dating a girl that he really, really likes. You should hear him gush about her. Seriously, it’s what every girl wants. To know that her man gets all giddy and happy when he’s talking about her to his friends. Hell, most girls would love to know that their man talks about them to his friends at all. My best friend is a special kind of breed. He could talk about her for hours and the entire time, he has this huge smile on his face. He plans future dates with her and tells me about the future he can envision with her. And I think that’s beautiful.

I truly hope that girl knows how lucky she is. She’s getting a guy that truly adores her and wants nothing more than to ensure her happiness.

Now let’s take a look at my love life. I’m dating someone I like very much. Much more than I’d ever admit to him and thankfully, he doesn’t keep up with my blog, I don’t think (which sucks but is great at the same time because then I can write all I want without worrying).

So this guy is sweet, and I’m biased but so so perfect. I mean, he has flaws don’t get me wrong but I like his flaws. I like him. That’s obvious enough though. The only problem in our relationship is that it isn’t “official.” I spoke before about titles and how I didn’t find them important. I still feel that way. But when someone asks me if I have a boyfriend, I’d love to give them a clear and simple answer of yes or no.

When I answer that I’m seeing someone, people see the smile that appears when I even think about him, and they press for more details. For many people that personally know me, they’re not used to me being really smiley when I’m talking about someone. It was always an “oh yeah I’m seeing someone.” Kind of an afterthought. But when I’m telling people now, there’s a big ol’ smile gracing my face. But it feels like describing him as just someone I’m seeing isn’t enough.

I still don’t care much about titles much despite me bring it up before and now. But I also don’t understand why he’s so afraid of them. We’re in an exclusive relationship. I don’t even entertain the idea of talking to someone else. Although, I don’t know if he feels the same. Maybe that’s why he doesn’t want the titles? Hopefully many of you understand when I say this but, when you say something out loud, it’s different. It makes things too real. The annoying thing is that when I ask him about it, he finds a way to skip over it or even completely dodge the question (I’m very easily distracted).

It annoys me to keep asking. I don’t really like when people ask me the same question over and over again. So I feel like I’m a bother when I’m bring the issue up again. It reassured me that a friend of mine said that I wouldn’t be asking over and over again if I got a clear answer the previous times I’ve asked. I try not to overthink it (but I’m me and I swear, overthinking is my talent).

You know that feeling when you’re about to send a risky text? You send it and just wait with baited breath? I’m always that level of nervous when I bring up the whole issue of an “official” relationship. I can’t help but think “This is it, what’s he going to say? Is he finally going to realize he’s tired of me and my questions?” I usually don’t get a clear answer. He says or asks something that distracts or confuses me then I completely forget my question. By the time I realize it, it’s too late because he’s at work and I won’t get a chance to talk to him until he’s free again.

When discusses important issues, you have to be in the right atmosphere you know? Sure I could bring the issue up again after he’s finished work but by then the mood has shifted. As a curious person, I enjoy answers very much. So when I’m asking questions and don’t get answers, I tend to overthink and it’s usually the worse case scenarios I come up with.

Back to the important stuff, guys. Why is that when women want to talk, it’s because they’re “emotional?” I do agree that some people, not just women, can be very emotional about certain things. We’re also all human and having emotions is part of that. What’s so wrong about expressing those emotions and wanting to discuss them? Is it such a hardship to sit and listen and indulge us in conversation to clear our concerns? It’s so much better than leaving us thinking the worse.

Guys often say girls are complicated but I don’t think that’s true. Some girls do like to play games. Those girls also aren’t complicated, they’re just mean. I would know, I was one of them.

I think girls are fairly simple. Show us that you care. The smallest of things is enough (for me anyways). It’s not about material things, expensive gifts, extravagant dinners or dates. Just spend time with us. I’m not speaking for all girls of course. Just ones like me. That would take pleasure in your company more than anything else.

You want to play games? Cool, let me know. I’ll make sure I have the book I’m currently reading or something that will keep me busy while you’re doing your thing. You need to run errands? I’d love to come. You want to just sit around and do nothing? I’m game. Maybe do something crazy? Count me in. Want to nap? I happen to love them. Want to be alone doing those things? Cool, let me know so I’m not wasting my time guessing or being worried. My insecurities will start taking over and I’ll think you don’t like me anymore. I need reassurance from time to time. Can’t handle that? Just talk to me and make it clear so that I understand. We can figure things out as we go.

So you see, girls aren’t all that complicated. Guys, however, are. They would rather not talk about feelings. Why? I’m not sure. I would love for a guy to just offer details about anything or bring up deep conversations. Getting a guy to talk about some things is like pulling teeth. Difficult and sometimes painful for both parties. There’s nothing better than just talking about everything and anything with someone you’re close to or want to be closer to.

So guy, girls aren’t difficult or complicated. Most of us are quite simple. Share with me your feelings so I can share with you mine.

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