Today marks two years since my injury. Many of you don’t know, but this day two years ago, I severely injured my knee and for a year, I have managed to struggle through everything.
Thus far, I can honestly say that 2016 was the worst year of my life. I got injured, fought a lot with depression, a had lost in the family, and watched so many of my friend struggle through everything life was throwing at them.
I was in the hospital for quite a while and it was depressing. Everyday I woke up wishing I didn’t. There wasn’t a day that I stayed in the hospital that I wasn’t stuck with a needle or was given meds to take for pain. Before that, I hardly ever took anything for pain. I would bear through it but the pain I was in was too great to just ride out. I had so many different nurses and they were all kind but I just wanted to be at home.
There was this one nurse, her name was Jenna. Jenna did this amazing thing that brought me to tears. One night, I was sad that my mom had left to go home and I was left alone again. I wanted so badly to go home with her but I couldn’t. I had to stay in bed and limit my movements because I was so injured. Well that night, it started snowing. And I love snow. I love watching snow fall onto the ground and watch it slowly build up. There’s something so serene about it. I strained for a bit to get a better look but I sadly can’t turn like an owl. I gave up and was pretty disappointed. My nurse eventually came in to check on me and saw that it was snowing. She talked for a bit, asking about how I felt and everything then out of nowhere she unlocked my bed and moved it closer to the window so that I could see out of it. I started crying right then and there.
I was going through a shit time and Jenna made my night so much better. She didn’t have to move my bed. With a hospital full of people that needed care, she could have just taken my vitals and left. But she stayed and did something unexpected that made me so incredibly happy. I will never forget that. Her kindness meant everything to me in the days that were some of my darkest.
I still hate hospitals. I know there is a lot of life that comes from a hospital but there are also a lot of deaths. Don’t get me wrong, death wasn’t and isn’t something I’m afraid of. I learned that death was a part of life and that was okay. It’s sad and it sucks so much but it’s the only thing in life that’s guaranteed.
I actually don’t know why I hate hospitals so much. But I always did. One of my goals in life was to stay out of the hospital unless I was in labor with a child or something along the lines. It probably wasn’t a reasonable goal to begin with but I really don’t like hospitals.
I hope that every person is touched with kindness wherever they may be in life. So many people forget that the littlest of actions can truly make a difference to someone. You never know what someone is going through and it cost absolutely nothing to be kind.
It’s difficult sometimes. People are motivated by self interest but regardless, everyone should be shown a little kindness. I find it difficult still. I’d much rather be an introvert and not have to deal with people. To strangers, I do try to be polite but some days are harder than others. But that doesn’t stop me from making an effort. That’s all you can do right? Your best?