It amazes me how our relationships can become nothing more than a memory one day.
It takes a long time to build any kind of relationship. Takes efforts from all the persons involved but something as little as a disagreement or miscommunication can end it all. That’s pretty sad if you think about it. These days, people aren’t talking and working things out. Instead, they’re ready to cut off people at the smallest inconveniences. Then brag about how they’re working on themselves and focused on positive vibes only.
I can understand if the person is toxic to your life, like not being a good friend or did something you couldn’t forgive, but it’s like friendships don’t mean anything anymore.
I get being picky with your friends. I have less than a dozen people in my life that I really consider friends. The rest are merely acquaintances. The relationships we build in life are what gets us through the best and the worst of times. Because we’re human, we naturally want to socialize and build bonds. The friends we make in life and the bonds we create are one of the upsides of life. So when we take the time out to get to know people, become part of their lives and allow them to become part of ours, how is it so easy to let those friendships go?
I know that all the friendships I’ve lost throughout the years have scarred me. I’m hesitant in letting new people in because what if they just leave like the others? I know taking chances is a part of life but when you let people in, platonically or romantically, there’s no way of knowing how the other person is feeling. They could wake up one day and decide they would be happier without you. And that hurts. You go from talking all the time to literally nothing.
It’s hard recalling how things used to be then seeing how they are now. You’re like strangers again. Except you have all the memories of good times with that person. You don’t forget the good times nor the bad. But when things are over and done with, all you really think about is the good times you had (hopefully there were more good times than there were bad).
What hurts the most is when you see or do something that really reminds you of the person. Something that was your thing. You know what I’m talking about right? Sometimes it’s as simple as a word or phrase and you just think, damn, I really miss them. It’s even more difficult when you want to text or something just to see how they’re doing but you can’t because it’s no longer your place. I think everyone can agree that when something changes, it’ll never be the same again. As hard as you try, you eventually have to accept the differences of the relationship and change with it or let it go. And unfortunately, there are times where the relationship changes too much and you have to just let it all go despite wanting to hold onto it. It definitely goes for all kinds of relationships.
***Correction, what hurts more is if and when you see that person around. It’s difficult when you still see that person because you still run in the same group or maybe even if you have to continue working with them. At that point, you can either pretend everything is fine or you can ignore them (which is kind of rude in my opinion just because of the history you once shared, despite it all you should still respect each other – unless of course things ended badly, then you should absolutely ignore their existence).
The sad truth is that most of the people we meet in our lives won’t stay in our lives. Many of the friends we make that we were once so close to become people we don’t even know anymore. Even when there was a time that you knew them better than anyone. Life is rough and takes us all towards different paths. Sometimes, those paths meet and continue to intersect but more often than not, those paths diverge and gradually you get further and further apart from each other.
I do believe that you could rebuild the relationship. Everyone begins as strangers and with time, it developed into something more. It’s a cycle that can repeat constantly but I think it only matters when both parties are really trying. This applies to all kinds of relationships of course. It doesn’t always work out but like everything in life, nothing is guaranteed. You either take the chances you’re presented or you don’t.