The saying goes that you should put your family above anything else. I agree, to a point.
Being blood-related means nothing to me. If I’m being honest, my family is pretty selfish, so fucking greedy, and seriously nothing but users (not drugs but people). They have no common sense and just pisses me off. They care more about image than anything. And in turn, they raise their children the same way. They’re vain and teach their kids the same thing. By no means am I perfect. Nowhere close but I do recognize that my beliefs and values are nowhere similar to my family’s and that puts us at a static sometimes. I’m very opinionated and I’m absolutely going to speak up when/if I disagree. It also doesn’t help that I’m Asian.
You see, in Asian culture, respect is everything. Even if your elders don’t deserve shit from you, you’re expected to give them respect simply because they’re older. I hate that. I always believed that you should be polite to everyone (even if they’re rude as hell). But respect? No. God no. You don’t deserve shit from me until you earn it. Nobody in this world is entitled to anything and that’s what a lot of people don’t understand.
My family likes to hold grudges. I did this for you [enter date here] so you should do this “little” thing for me. Usually, it has to do with lending money or doing “little” favors. And if you don’t? You get so much shit for it, especially behind your back. Me being who I am, I never saw the point in talking behind someone’s back. If I don’t like you, you’re going to know it. I’m not going to insult you or talk shit about you to other people. I don’t like you, therefore, you’re irrelevant in my life and I don’t give a shit what you say or do. It’s literally none of my concern. Unless of course, you’re doing something to me. At that point, I would absolutely make it known to you that I want nothing to do with you.
Perhaps it derives from being family. You love them (sometimes) but you don’t necessarily like them. Maybe there’s some kind of need to talk about people that are in your life even when you don’t want them to be. I just don’t see how talking shit about somewhere is going to benefit you in any way. No wait, venting about people does help. But venting isn’t talking shit. Venting is something being done to you and you need to talk about it. To me, it’s always a “let me tell you why this upsets me” kind of thing. Totally off topic as always.
What I’m getting at is your family isn’t always going to mean everything to you and that’s okay. It’s absolutely okay not to like your family or want to get away from them. As an individual, you have your own life to live. And you know what? Your family isn’t always the ones you’re blood-related to, sometimes they’re the friends you made along the way.