After she was raped and she aborted the resulting pregnancy, she went through bouts of depression. She said her life changed from that incident. She said that the biggest mistake she made was that she was trying to forget the situation. You know the phrase forgive and forget? She said that the phrase is bullshit and she still doesn’t support that phrase. She said that trying to forget a trauma is like fighting against oneself. Because the point of a trauma is that it is forever registered in the brain and mind. For so many years, she tried to fight it because she believed that she was strong enough to fight it. However, the incidents hunted her. She never wanted to remember what happened. So she started looking for distractions. She got into smoking and drinking, thinking that would help to erase the memory or numb the pain away, atleast for a while. While she was at that, she found the love of her life. She loved him so much and he loved her with everything he had. Because she was always in the need for distractions, she decided to drop out of school and run away from home with the guy, despite her family not approving of the guy. She made this change, hoping for a new beginning and a new life. She told me that it’s not possible for a person to give what they don’t have. She said that she haboured hate toward her rapist for a long time. She had hate in her heart and at the same time, she was trying to love this new guy. That’s not possible. She believed that she was doing everything within her capabilities to love the guy, thinking everything was okay. However, she never took time to ask the guy if she was showing him enough love. Even though they told each other how much they loved each other very often, the man felt like he was never doing enough to make her happy and to distract her. She needed so much distraction everytime that the guy took the responsibility upon himself to find distractions for her, thereby, making her happy. She appreciated him but never appreciated him to the point where she fully loved the man as the man would have wanted. The man never complained though. Although she hated someone else, it affected her relationship with people around her. The woman made me realize that anger and fear are controlled by the same part of the brain. She told me that the bigger the fear that someone has, the more the person gets angry very easily. She said that if I ever see someone that gets angry easily, I should ask the person what their fear is. Weird right? Anyway, so much focus was on trying to get her healed that no one noticed the man’s deteriorating health. He had leukaemia, which he fought when he was a teenager and as a result, thought was never coming back. He thought the battle was over when he was young, but it wasn’t. She thought that being raped and having abortion would be the end of her life. But it turns out that losing the only person she ever loved to death was the worst period of her life. She could have killed herself but she already had two kids for the man so no one would take care of them. She was in a strange land with no relatives or anyone to help her.