Let me help you get a girlfriend from a girl’s perspective! Not that I’m an expert or anything.
This is so so so fucking important. Conversation opens the doors for the possibility of a relationship.
From a girl’s perspective, there’s no such thing as too much conversation. When we’re first getting to know someone, we’re really getting an idea of how a relationship would work (at least I do). How much time, attention, and detail you’re going into is important. I know, talking shouldn’t seem so complicated. And it’s not. Honesty is everything. If you’re being asked a question, answer honestly. I’m not asking for my health (well, maybe my mental health because guys are just not great for your health), getting an answering shouldn’t feel like I have to pull teeth.
Do the best you can to communicate. Sometimes, it’s too early to divulge into certain topics and that’s okay. Just let her know that it’s not something you want to talk about right now. Talking gets easier the more you do it. You’ll feel more comfortable and find yourself wanting to talk more. Your goal is to be the first person she wants to tell things to. Become her best friend! Everybody knows a strong relationships is based on an even stronger friendship. You can only get there by gradually opening up.
Communication is where most people fail (me included). It’s difficult and sometimes you don’t realize how much you’re not saying because you’re so accustomed to it. Your secrets are your own. But if you really want to be with someone long-term, build a life with them, you have to build trust. And that comes from entrusting the deepest parts of your life to someone. It’s risky and fucking frightening but the payoff is worth it.
It’s important to remember that everybody has different dynamics and values. Talking is a universal dynamic that needs to be clear. It’s really setting the standard of communication moving forward into a relationship or wherever it is that you want.