Dating Step 3: Gettin’ Down and Dirty ;)

Totally kidding, unless you’re into that. I don’t judge.

If it wasn’t completely clear, we’re talking about sex here. With all the talking and dating, eventually it’s going to led to a physical relationship. Not always, but most of the time your relationship is going to advance to the sex aspect. This is a huge part of the intimacy (not the only piece though).

I discussed it previously but communication and comfort is vital, especially when it comes to sex. Make sure you’re comfortable enough in your relationship to discuss sex openly. It’s just another learning aspect of the relationship. You need to talk about what works, what doesn’t, what you like, what they like. Most people just jump into sex and sometimes that just works for them. Sexual chemistry is a huge thing (lol, I’m immature). But seriously, being sexually attracted to someone is important in the relationship.

But don’t get me wrong, sex isn’t always important to people but this post isn’t for those people. I’m definitely not one of them. I couldn’t imagine being with someone that I didn’t want to sleep with. I enjoy sex and I’m not afraid to admit it. So for me, sexual chemistry is right up there as a dealbreaker. And I absolutely need to feel comfortable with my partner. Some guys, don’t take constructive criticism well. Don’t be that guy. I repeat, do not be that guy.

I don’t care if you’ve had sex with dozens of people, what worked before might not always work. Be secure enough to talk about that stuff and change it up! Don’t be afraid to explore together. And more importantly, don’t be afraid to laugh together. Sex should be fun! Experiment and have fun while you’re doing it. Be comfortable enough with your partner to joke around about it afterwards or hell, even during. Don’t be scared that you’re doing something wrong, it’s all a part of learning about each other’s bodies.

I promise you (maybe not everyone) but we do think about the physical relationship and all that goes on. All the good, bad, and hella awkward parts. I always remember pausing to laugh at something or even to stopping in the middle of sex to watch something on the TV for a few and going right back down to business. I loved those moments. I remember them fondly and it always makes me think about my partner (not that I have one anymore, *sigh*).

And the absolute most important thing, do not compare. You might have many relationships and if you’re serious about the person, do not compare them to your experiences before. You’re with a new person. Take that time to learn and share a physical connection with someone that is solely with them. Never compare them to an ex.

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