A while ago I was arguing with my cousin who I don’t really get along with. Our personalities and values are very different.
Anyways, when we were arguing the only thing she could tell me was that I need to, “grow up.” It pissed me off. I wanted to scream that I had to grow up a long time ago. Wanted shout at her for attacking me when she knew nothing about me. But we were in public and she wasn’t worth causing a scene for.
The argument started because she had texted my other cousin who is like a sister to me to bitch about being annoyed with the new sleeping arrangements for our family trip. I was irritated already. I was the one annoyed with an attitude. I had every right to be annoyed when people who are supposed to be family was yet again financially taking advantage of my mother.
I don’t like confrontation, but really, who does? But I will always handle it immediately. So I texted the cousin I was annoyed with and told her that if she had something to say about my attitude, she could talk to me and not cop out by texting my other cousin. She sent me this entire paragraph saying that I was immature, that family was supposed to help each other out, that I’m such a bitch, and told me I need to grow up every other sentence. And I get, family should help each other out. I’m very family oriented. However, when the same people are constantly borrowing money or financially taking advantage of my mother, I find it a problem. I don’t even take financial advantage of my mother and I’m her daughter. What right would it give anyone else in my family to?
Everything we do, everywhere we go, she typically ends up with the bill. Why is that? Because she’s been a single mom since I was born and decided to get her shit together so that she could provide for me. Everyone else in my family decided to have kids and look for hand outs where they can. I hated that when I was growing up and I hate it now. It’s not okay. And you know what? It’s not about the money (another story for another time).
Because I grew up with a single mother, I had to grow up fast. I had to figure out everything on my own and fast. I also had to be very conscience of money. My mother worked six days a week, about eleven hours a day. That’s fucking exhausting for anyone, but she did it. For me, for us. So I feel some type of way when anyone tries to take advantage of my mother’s kindness. I think that’s justified.
The moral of this post is that you truly don’t know what a person has been through nor what they’re going through. Don’t make assumptions and don’t make them into the bad guy because they don’t agree with what you think/want.