Some people are and some people aren’t. It’s important to distinguish them.
A lot of the time when you’re too invested in someone’s life and happiness, you tend to overlook their many bad habits. Let me just say that bad habits are not the same as flaws. Habits can be changed, flaws can sometimes be fixed but their generally character developments over time. It’s the way people just are. Feel free to disagree.
I spent a lot of my life waiting for people that would never stop for me to tie a shoe. Probably a terrible analogy but it’s currently 4am on a Saturday morning and I can’t think of a better one. Bear with me.
I’m sorry (not really) to say that some people in your life aren’t worth the hassle. They’re not worth the effort you put into being their friend or being there for them when they need you. Every relationship is about give and take. Sometimes you give more, other times you need to take more. A person that values you will understand that and will reciprocate accordingly. And you, not being a shitty person will do the same. It reminds me of that cliché that some people come into your life to teach you a lesson. And that how you have to view it.
You have to think about your own well-being first and furthermost (I know I’m a hypocrite, but I’m trying my best). If someone is toxic to you, let them go. Don’t worry about the history you have with them. If that’s your excuse, it will be forever. You’re basically telling them that it’s okay to treat you a certain way. When you say it’s okay or accept their excuses when they fail you, they’ll just continue to do it. Not everyone is going to think, “oh, this person has forgiven me before, let me not let them down this time.” It’s truly a rarity. People only think about themselves while you’re also busy thinking about them. Don’t worry, they’re not considering you in the slightest.
I’m not saying not to be kind and forgiving. You absolutely should be kind, always. HOWEVER, if someone in your life is constantly making you wait (think deeper, more than just waiting time wise) they’re not respecting you or the time you’re putting aside for them. We know that life is busy. There’s never really a time, as you get older, that you don’t have anything to do. There’s always something that needs to be done. Giving that time to someone else should be appreciated every. single. time. I’m not talking about a grand celebration or anything, a simple yet genuine thank you will do.
Just be aware of those worth your time and stop making excuses for those that aren’t.