School

Is extremely fucking hard. And draining. And like a billion other things so don’t ever, ever be down on yourself for it.

I’m a bit of a hypocrite here. I’m really hard on myself about school. I’m not academically inclined and I know that. I have to work smarter and harder than most because I simply don’t understand. I just had a class where I was completely lost and you know what? It’s a core class for my major. So I sat there thinking to myself, how the hell am I going to make a career out of this if I don’t even understand the basics? But it’s way too late to switch my major and as difficult as it is, there’s a seriously rewarding feeling when I do finally figure it out.

One of the most challenging aspects for me is asking for help. I know I need help but I don’t really know how to ask and I hate it. I spend hours trying to form the right questions and end up with nothing. It’s incredibly frustrating. I love to learn but school just isn’t for me. But I stick it out because I tell myself that if I just apply myself more, work even harder, that I’ll eventually get it. I think that’s true for the most part. I’ll understand eventually. But that eventually leaves me behind my peers far too often.

Not everyone learns and retains information the same way. I have to physically do things over and over and over. I can’t just read about it and apply like. I envy those people. The ones that are just good at school you know? The ones that don’t need to work very hard for that 100 or A in the class. I struggle just to get a C or 70.

I know I’m supposed to do everything at my own pace but I’m paying for school (well, taking out loans). It’s costing me to work at my own pace and my school has a rule that you can only take a class 3 times and if you still can’t pass, you have to transfer out. That’s an insane amount of pressure. I’m literally on my last chance in 2 classes and one I’m understanding so much more but the other… not so much.

I keep trying to understand and I just don’t. I don’t know how to get that answer and I don’t understand the reasoning behind it. Then as soon as I do understand something, it’s changed and I’m back at square one. I hate it and I hate school.

I hate that my intelligence is measured but what I remember for a test. I hate that GPAs exist. I hate that I’m defined by it when I’m looking for internships/jobs.

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” 

Albert Einstein said that. He was an incredibly intelligent man and he hit the nail on its head. I’m trying so hard and most days, I hate that I’m not enough to be good enough. School is difficult and I hate it yet here I am. Almost every day doing my fucking best trying to be enough to be good enough.

I don’t think I’m the only one. So this is props to the people that are doing their fucking best to be good enough. To at least meet the bare minimum to be seen in the world of academia as a serious student. It’s a struggle and school isn’t for everyone. But we’re doing our best, I think we deserve some credit for enduring.

E

Overwhelmed

I’m pretty sure the number one definition of being overwhelmed is school. There’s nothing like the pressures of needing get your gpa as high as possible.

I’m the type that’s absolutely terrible at testing. Nor am I academically inclined. I do homework for hours and study for even more, the best I can get most of the time is a B and an occasional A if it’s some kind of open discussion class that makes you write papers based on your opinion.

I just withdrew from a class to focus on two other classes that I absolutely couldn’t fail. However, I spent all of Saturday night doing homework for the accounting class I decided to withdraw from. Had I made the decision earlier, I would have had more time to study for my MIS exam (Management Information Systems, which happens to be my major). I failed that exam in case you were wondering.

I hate school. With a passion. Why? Because I’m so bad at it. It seems like no matter how hard I try, I’m just not good enough. Day after day, I constantly wonder if I’m even smarter enough to finish college. It’s one of my biggest fears.

College is important. Getting a degree is constantly stressed. You can’t get a good job without an even better degree. What they don’t tell you is it’s not about what you know, it’s about who you know. It’s a line thrown around but never really stressed as important. College is absolute hell.

Professors give you tons of work as if you’re only taking their class. It’s all about time management and balance. I’m great at planning time out but actually sticking to it is seriously difficult. I’m terrible at it.

So often I put up a front and pretend everything is okay. But I always feel like I’m in over my head. I pretend like bad grades don’t get me depressed or make me even more disappointed in myself.

I remember getting my scores back from Economics and not wanting to leave for a good month. I did of course. Life goes on. I still beat myself over every bad grade. Knowing that if I applied myself more, maybe I could have done better.

I can’t change the past though. All I can do is try harder and hope hope for the best.

Going back to school…

It’s a bittersweet feeling. On one hand, you’re excited to be back on campus. The campus buzzing with energy of freshman experiencing everything for the first time, fraternities/sororities recruiting for rush, parents saying goodbye to their babies, all the organizations/clubs pushing for you to check out their booth. There’s so much stimulation that you can’t help but get excited for the semester to start up again. Meeting new people, taking new classes, moving forward in your educational path.

Then, classes actually start. You’re waking up to take an 8am you really didn’t want but couldn’t avoid. You’re struggling to manage working, school, and having a social life. You want to cram every event possible but there just aren’t that many hours in a day. Instead of conversing with new friends you met during orientation or reuniting with friends you haven’t seen all summer, you’re busy getting a handle of your workload. You’re neurotic about writing everything into your planner because you’re afraid to miss an important date.

Time manageable is the most difficult aspect of college. I think many students would agree. But it’s one of the key to succeed in college.

There are plenty of courses that require a lot of extra studying. But you also want some downtime to just relax without knocking your brain. What do you do?

The first step is to jump on the train when registering for courses. You want the absolute best times. This calls for careful planning. College typically sends an email about courses opening for registration. You should see your counselor immediately.

Get an idea of what classes you need to take, how heavy the course load might be, and what general classes would benefit you in other classes you need to take that semester. (I promise, those gen eds are useful in other classes or even discussions outside of class).

Once you have a list of what classes you need. You need to start looking up classes and professors. There’s nothing worse than getting stuck with a professor that will drone on and on in a lecture. You want a professor that actually wants you to succeed and offers all the resources to make that happen. An engaging professor.

Sure, it’s a ton of work to look like classes, dates, times, professors, even taking the building where the class will be into consideration but it makes planning a ton easier once you obtain that information.

Next is planning out your schedule so that you have sufficient time to do your assignments and study.

Take biology and chemistry for example. Both heavy classes with no doubt endless amounts of work. You want to space out those classes so that you actually have time to prepare for them. I would advise not taking them on the same day (unless there’re just lectures). If you happen to have an exam in both classes, studying for them both to take in one day is extremely difficult.

That’s another thing. Lectures and classrooms. Some majors require a lab. This is where you have a professor lecturing on the topic and another class where you actually apply those lectures. (Happens a lot with science majors).

Once you have a draft of your schedule, I suggest finding a few alternative classes so that if you can’t get into one, you have a backup without going crazy looking for another class in the same subject matter last minute.

Once courses are open to register action, you want to get registered as quick as possible no matter what time they open. Believe me, you’re not the only one sitting at the computer ready to register.

By planning way ahead of time, you leave yourself time once the semester starts to plan your social outings and study days. It’s all about time management in college. You want to be there and really experience college life rather than just going to classes and going home to study. Enjoy all that college has to offer. I hear time flies in a blink of an eye.