Scatter Brained

That’s me. I swear my mind goes a million random miles per minute. I know everybody is constantly thinking, my problem is that my thoughts are all divided into different subjects all the time. It makes it difficult to focus on any one thing. I’m annoyingly curious about everything. I’m sure I annoy the shit out of people with my constant questions and need for information. The truth of the matter is that I’m afraid that I don’t fully understand and the only way I can understand in my own special way is to ask questions.

I love learning. About everything and anything. I love when someone teaches me something new without being condescending and especially when they’re patient with me. There are so, so many times that I’ll ask a question and then remember a second later that I understand or recall the answer myself. Then I’ll say never mind and that grates on some people’s nerves. I apologize to those people.

There are also times where times I just black out mid-conversation. My attention will be drawn to something surrounding me or a random thought I had but I promise, I’m still listening. Definitely rude of me to just mentally leave the conversation at hand though. It’s kind of difficult to explain. Too many times my need for an answer is immediate. I need to satisfy my curiosity by asking a question or doing something to find an answer. I don’t know why I need to know but I do. For example, I could be having a serious conversation with someone and I’ll randomly wonder how many types of cheeses there are in the world. ADHD? I don’t think so.

My stepmom wanted to have me tested for ADHD at one point. I’m not sure if you can have signs of a disorder but not actually have it. I’m not a doctor. There are times where I think maybe I do have an attention problem but I know if I really try, I can focus on just one thing at a time. Sometimes not for very long but still, I could do it if I had to.

I’m so grateful for the people in my life. They’re patient with me and kind of just got used to having a dozen different conversations at once. Even on a serious matter, being able to jump from one convo to convo is great. I love when good conversations don’t just end. You could be talking about something different and still go back to that one topic again.

Let me tell you though, it is not a good time being such a dope all the time. Sometimes people’s point just goes over my head and that can get frustrating for both parties. I want to understand but sometimes I’m too far in my head to get it. Sometimes people need to spell it out very slowly for me and of course that’s annoying for them.

There are definitely pros and cons.