I’m in one of those moods where I can’t wait for the rest of my life and I can’t help wanting so much out of life.
I keep wondering what it’d be like to have my shit together and maybe be with someone that wants to be with me as much as I want to be with them. I know I don’t need some person to be my person, but it’s nice to have someone. And when I’m thinking about my future, I can’t help hoping someone will be beside me, sharing a life we built together. It sounds beautiful.
I want to wake up next to the love of my life, talk and argue with my soul mate, shoot the shit with my best friend, and raise kids with my husband. It’s a nice dream, but I’m not sure I’ll ever get to the point where I can fully commit. I also can’t imagine meeting someone I would want to commit to. I’m way too picky when it comes to guys I date, but I don’t really have a huge selection and lately, it doesn’t seem like they’re worth even considering to date. I hate the beginnings, mostly. Sure, it’s fun to talk and get to know someone but it’s so difficult to find someone nowadays that is genuine. Meeting someone that will be fucking honest about themselves and the details of their life.
It doesn’t help that all my encounters are through dumb apps. I hate that meeting people is so inorganic now. I couldn’t fathom going up to someone or someone coming up to me and asking for my number or a date. I’d have to agree to a date if someone had the courage to come up and ask me out. Unless of course, I get an uncomfy feeling from them. It’s wishful thinking of course. Guys don’t do that anymore. People don’t do that anymore. They use apps that are supposed to be helpful, instead, they’re just draining and discouraging. Matching with people, then having short conversations that go nowhere many, many times. Or, they immediately want to meet up for a booty call. I fucking hate that.
Talk to me and get to know me. Talk to me and let me get to know you. Let’s fucking date. Give me a chance to know you to the point where I’m questioning where the hell you’ve been all my life. Show me actual interest, and a decent amount of conversation. I just take to take my time dating one person that I truly like and likes me the same. I’m not in a rush or anything. And I’m happy with myself and how my life is right now, but I’d love to experience a good and mutually loving relationship for once. Let me know, is that too much to ask for?